I’ve just come back from the mall, which is usually a wonderful experience for me, but today was quite a different story…

I was walking through the mall when I passed one of those mall booth vendors. I averted my eyes, sped up, fumbled through my purse looking for my phone (the fake phone call usually works). I was almost free from her grasp, when she backed me up against a store window with her hand held out. “Hi, can I show you something?”

"Ughh huh?", I so eloquently replied.

Before I knew it, she’d corralled me over to her booth and sat me down in chair. By then, I knew I was a goner. She was demo-ing a flat iron (that’s a hair straightener for you guys out there).

Now, naturally I have pin-straight, flat hair. Earlier this morning, I spent hours curling it. So naturally, I was pissed when she decided to show me how my “frizzy, curly hair” could become straight and shiny. Great.

When she finally let me get a word in, I told her I really didn’t need a flat iron and while I was grateful for her styling, I had shopping to do. I jumped off her styling stool and ran into the first store I saw. Tabi? What the heck am I doing in here? Did I black out? I walked around the old lady cardigan section for a couple minutes, just catching my breath. When I was good and ready, I left to store and made a mad dash to the mall exit. Round two, baby…

I dodged the girl with the flat iron, the vendor with the nail file and the dude holding out a bottle of hand cream to me. I made it back to my car safely, but never actually got what I came to the mall for in the first place.

Ugh, mall vendors…